Isolation can take different forms, from staring at a sea of blank windows on a video call to feeling lonely in a busy office. Vhi Health Coach Evan Farrell explains the importance of social interactions and how you can find your own comfortable level of connection.

Our world is more ‘connected’ than ever before, but that’s also given us the means to operate in solitude. When we look at changes in the working landscape over the past few years, we see people moving to remote settings, removed from physical contact and only touching base with the office occasionally. While you’ll still be working with a team, you can be quite isolated from them for most of the day.

However, when we talk about true social ‘isolation’, we’re talking about a lack of strong connection with others, whatever form that takes. That doesn’t necessarily mean physical proximity. Loneliness, as defined by social psychologists, develops when there’s a gap between the social connections you would like to have and those you feel you experience. So, you can feel lonely in a room of 100 people. You’re not physically isolated, but those genuine connections aren’t there – be it in quality interactions or the general ease you feel with the people around you.

The benefits of connection

Research shows that being together in a work setting doesn’t preclude feeling isolated at work. One study compared a group that were merely seated together with a group who were actively working together and collaborating on tasks. It was the latter who formed genuinely meaningful bonds that protected against loneliness and isolation at work.

We rely on a flow of interactions to help us express ourselves, our worries and concerns. It could just be the opportunity to vent about your day. Talking is one of the most-well-known modes of therapy in which we engage. You mightn’t even need advice; just to know that you’re being heard and feel validated. In this way, connection is so important for combatting not just workplace loneliness but also boosting our overall wellbeing. It’s linked to lower anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, greater empathy, and more cooperative and trusting relationships.

On the flipside, people who are feeling isolated at work have an increased risk for heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke. It can also impact your thinking skills, your ability to perform daily tasks, and lead to depression.

That doesn’t mean that constant exposure to groups is necessary. Your social needs are super individual to you. You might be physically isolated from your teammates and be quite happy. It might suit your personality to work that way; some people prefer their own space. However, if you sense there is an issue in yourself, a change might be required. So, what are the key signs that you are experiencing negative isolation at work?

Detecting a disconnect

Before looking at the issue from a professional perspective, it’s important to note whether it’s also affecting your personal life. Do you feel cut-off from others in general? Try to pinpoint when those feelings began. Was there something specific that led to you feeling isolated at work? For instance, maybe you can trace it to six months into the pandemic and recognise that things have snowballed since then. The office is open once again, but you haven’t gone back. Maybe you’re withdrawing and avoiding opportunities to meet colleagues like you used to.

I’ve certainly noticed that people have lost bonds they previously had. It happens if you don’t make a concerted effort to stay in contact. You might think you’d rather work from home and be on your own, but it can take time for you to start to see the repercussions of that. So, try to recognise if you’re spending a lot of time at home, withdrawing from others, and feeling some kind of loss as a result.

Losing the motivation to go into the workplace is a key sign. Another thing would be not feeling super motivated to perform as part of a team. Seeing things from a more individualistic perspective. You’ve lost a desire for your team to be greater than the sum of its parts because you don’t feel bonded with other members. That can impact your productivity and cause other work problems.

Your day-to-day routine can be impacted. So, where once you had a get-up-and-go attitude, now you’ll find yourself getting out of bed a little later, being more reluctant to sit down at your desk, not enjoying the overall process. Those are some key indicators of problematic isolation at work.

It’s not all on you, of course. Perhaps you don’t feel ‘part of the crew’. You might be in the office, hearing chatter around you and never really being included in the conversation. Or watching as others go for coffee or lunch together and don’t ask you to join them. Maybe you don’t feel you have shared interests. Fixing that will require a group effort, from the person themselves and their colleagues, to find common ground.

How to tackle isolation

While operating remotely isn’t the sole cause of isolation at work, our social muscles haven’t been getting the exercise they once did. I’m quite a social person, but even I have found myself becoming quite awkward around people. Understandably, it’s easy for people to say ‘being around others is a really hard space for me to be in. I know it has its benefits, but I’m finding it too tough. So, I’ll stay home and avoid those feelings.’

• Find a happy medium

You need to ease yourself in, while assessing your own personal requirements. Maybe you don’t need full immersion. Take it on a day-to-day basis. Recognise those times when you need your own space. There will be people reading this who are introverts and feel that, while they can handle a certain amount of social interaction, they get very socially exhausted – which is a real thing. It’s fine to have time to shut off from the world and unwind.

You just need to tailor your daily pattern to make it work for you. Hybrid working can be great if you have that option, allowing you to spend a couple of days per week catching up with colleagues, with the rest of the week reserved for getting your work done alone. But even if you’re in the office every day, it’s just about choosing moments to interact and knowing when you need to stick on your headphones and get the head down. Above all, get to know what profile you fit and then act accordingly if you are feeling isolated at work.

• Get proactive

Of course, it isn’t as simple as saying ‘I’ll go into the office on Wednesday because that’s when most people are in’ and then sitting in the same space as them. That’s part of it, but you need to consciously say ‘I’m going to try to stay connected, even if I’m a little uncomfortable.’ Recognise that it’s something you want, and that there’s a lot you can gain from it. Then plan some extra gestures that can get you to that place.

If there’s someone you used to be friendly with, but your relationship has fallen by the wayside, reach out. Say ‘let’s meet up for a coffee, we haven’t caught up in a while.’ Go outside your comfort zone – but in a manageable way, by setting out small goals and achieving them at your own pace. If you don’t typically interact with those around you in the office, think of a few conversation starters ahead of time, and pick your moment to throw one out. You might be surprised how easily the conversation flows once the ice is broken. These ‘non-transactional’ conversations, where the sole focus isn’t on the job, are particularly good for fostering camaraderie.

• Don’t forget informal WFH chats

If you can’t interact in person, you can still find moments for these informal chats. We might be fatigued with video calls, but the occasional impromptu check-in, or carving out some time for a catch-up at the end of scheduled meeting can really make a difference. Even keeping your camera on, if you’ve gotten into the habit of turning it off, will add a visual layer that can help connection and intimacy.

• Think long-term

You need to reflect on what you want out of your work experience. It’s easy for the weeks to roll by without an overarching plan for yourself. Take some time to assess whether your set-up, from working at home to being in an open-plan setting, is working for you. It goes back to knowing your own profile and pre-empting future problems. Not enjoying work at the moment? How are you going to be in six months? Does something have to change? It’s possible that remote working has great benefits for your family life and is helping you flourish when it comes to personal connections. In that case, all you need to do is ensure you’re taking enough breaks from your desk, taking lunch, and getting out of the house. On the other hand, if you feel you are lacking real connection, it’s time for those small goals to come into play.

• Seek wider support

Employers have a huge role to play in creating and supporting a socially nourishing environment. So, seek their help if you can. It can lead to greater flexibility in terms of where and when you work. Or they might find ways to facilitate more collaborative work, group-based tasks, and team-building sessions. If these opportunities exist, put yourself forward for them. See if there’s access to an employee assistance programme (EAP) or ways you can share feedback in a confidential manner. If your feelings of isolation at work are too much to manage alone, there’s plenty of people you can talk to. Simply opening up to your GP can be a positive starting point.

Remember: we’re in this together

If you notice signs of isolation in others, you’re potentially in a position to help. Workplace loneliness can be hard to gauge, and remote working has lent itself to a problem of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ What you want is a baseline of behaviour – how have your interactions been with them since you’ve known them? – so that you can spot a change.

You can broach the subject directly, reaching out to ask if everything’s okay or mention that you’ve noticed things are a little bit different. However, it might be more appropriate to establish a connection in an indirect way that gives them an opportunity to re-engage. You might deliberately arrange a lunch, or other team activity, and make sure that they’re invited.

Make it something you know they’d like to do or would feel comfortable with. The main thing is that they’re opting into it, and that creates a safe environment. Whether you do direct or indirect will depend on the person.

Which brings us back to how we’re all different social animals. What you have to decide is how much connection you need and the most comfortable way to get it.

If you're feeling isolated and would like some support, we're here. Vhi members can access mental health supports whenever they need. Take a look at our mental health care page for more. 

This content is for information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek advice from your GP or an appropriate medical professional if you have concerns about your health, or before commencing a new healthcare regime. If you believe that you are experiencing a medical emergency call 999 / 112 or seek emergency assistance immediately.