Social media opens lots of doors for teenagers; education, aspirations to travel, discovering music and art, and connecting with friends and family. But there are two sides to the coin, and social media can be equal parts harmful for some teens. Vhi clinical psychologist, Dr Aoife Dáibhis, chats to us about the powerful effects social media can have on your teen’s mental health, the negative impacts to be aware of, and how parents can help their teens protect their emotional wellbeing. 

The effect social media has on mental health

It can be tricky for adults to grasp just how much social media is second nature to teenagers. Teens have grown up in a world that always had social media; they struggle to imagine a world in which people don’t share regular updates on their actions and whereabouts! Social media can have positive impacts for teens and their mental health, which sometimes get overlooked. It can help them to connect with their friends and interest groups for creative outlets like art, design, or music - particularly if they’re living in areas that have fewer amenities around. It’s also a source of information when it comes to studying and school, and it allows them to explore the world. Social media can be a means of linking up with volunteering and charity work too.

However, there are many ways in which social media can be harmful for mental health, especially for teenagers. Prolonged use of social media is linked with depression, anxiety, isolation and poor body image; depending on the content being accessed. We can’t monitor our teens every second they use social media, but there are ways parents can help their teens be more aware of the negative aspects, like instant gratification and seeking validation.

Seeking validation from social media

Because teenagers are at a stage of brain development where certain parts of their brains are more active, they tend to seek validation, peer recognition, and inclusion more than older individuals. This higher need for acceptance makes them more vulnerable to social media validation. Our brains don’t finish developing until our early- to mid-20s, and the last part to mature is the pre-frontal cortex, which is involved with planning, impulse control, and reasoning. This means teenagers naturally struggle to be objective about the content they see online; it’s also harder for them to see things in a bigger context because they simply don’t yet have the life experience. It’s harder for them to recognise that having a few close friends they can trust and be themselves around is more important than validation from acquaintances or strangers online - this generally comes with age!

Children between ages 11-14 are particularly vulnerable to social media, with older teens (generally) being slightly less vulnerable. A central element of social media is receiving ‘likes’ and comments on photos and videos you post. If a teen gets less than they view as ‘acceptable’ or what they’d hoped for, then it’s going to make them feel ‘less than’. It could make them feel less popular and less valuable. Older teens and adults have the reasoning available to know less likes or comments could be due to any number of factors - the time it was posted, who is online or not - but younger teens aren’t there just yet. So, not instantly receiving validation (likes, comments and so on) on their own social media posts can really impact their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. Help your teen to understand that validation on social media should mean little in the way of confidence and self-worth. Explain that real validation doesn’t come from ‘likes’ or video views, and be sure to remind them how valued they are within your family and that’s what matters. There are numerous online resources available for parents to help you have these conversations with your teen.

If you’re worried that your teen is struggling with their self-esteem to an extent it’s affecting their happiness and day-to-day life, or their use of social media is causing them to withdraw from real life and interferes with school or relationships, you should speak to your healthcare provider for help. 

The harmful side of instant gratification  

One of the reasons social media feels so enjoyable is because of the instant validation and gratification we get from it. Within seconds, we can feel emotionally stimulated, entertained, and admired if we see engagement with our posts. It’s only natural that we’d enjoy these feelings and want to spend more time feeling this way; this is why social media can be such a time-drain and distraction from real life. If your teenager is trying to study but can’t keep themselves from losing 20 minutes or more each time they open their phone, their concentration skills, time management skills and impulse control are all being negatively impacted.

On top of this, they won’t learn about or experience delayed gratification; for example, as an adult you need to generally work for a month before being paid, you need to save money over time for things you want, and you won’t achieve a fitness goal after attending one gym class (and that’s fine!).  Speak to your teen openly about how things don’t always happen as quickly as they’re used to seeing online. This is all part of helping your teen to understand, analyse and respond to social media as best as they can, which is covered in more detail below.

Setting realistic boundaries for your teen

With that said, it might be tempting for parents to try to keep their teen off social media, but because we live in such a digital world, it would be next to impossible. Aside from this, it can be unfair to ask your teen to not be involved in something so ubiquitous with their peers. There are ways parents can encourage healthy and safe usage of social media:

• Help their teen learn how to understand, analyse and respond appropriately to media (sometimes called ‘media literacy’): Support and teach your teen to be critical and be able to analyse the content they see on social media. This helps them decipher between helpful or harmful content, recognise fake content, and to ask questions about the validity of what they’re hearing and seeing. It’s important your teen can be savvy about the content they see online, both from peers and also from brands and influencers. There are lots of Irish resources available online to help with this.

• Setting boundaries: With older teens, as they become more media literate, it’s important to allow some autonomy and trust when it comes to their mobile phone. If you check on their social media activity, it needs to be in a respectful way. But for younger teens, it’s important to supervise their social media use as much as you can. They could be exposed to inappropriate or harmful content that they aren’t yet equipped to deal with. To allow for supervision, you could create rules that only allow the family to use social media in communal areas like the living room and set time limits such as social media only between 6pm and 7pm. It’s a good idea to keep bedrooms a mobile phone-free zone, especially at night, so it doesn’t interfere with sleep.

The appeal of herd culture

Herd culture is not specific to teens but is something we all do on a regular basis. It can be described as ‘decision-making behaviour’, where a small group or portion of the population make a decision and everyone else follows. It’s a helpful system because we can’t make decisions about every single thing we do each day; we’d get decision fatigue and get nothing done! An example is that moment you’re talking to friends and realise that everyone else has started a pension but you, so you go home that evening and set up your own.

Herd culture is appealing because it makes us feel part of a group, like we’re accepted and that we fit in. The more harmful potential side of herd culture is a small group of people making bad decisions and the rest of the group following suit. Teenagers can be more vulnerable when it comes to seeking validation and fitting in. So, they are more inclined than adults to go along with bad decisions made by peers, rather than thinking about whether something bad or hurtful could happen as a result. In terms of social media, this could mean taking part in a dangerous trend or sharing photos to embarrass someone or leaving unkind comments about a peer. This is where media literacy is invaluable again; your teen needs to:

• Stop and think before doing anything.
• Think about who is suggesting that this is a good idea. It might seem like ‘everyone’, but whose idea is it really?
• Consider who is going to benefit from this happening. Who could be harmed from it?
• Slow down and think about what consequences could come from taking part.

If your teen gets used to asking themselves these questions before taking part, they’re more likely to make their own judgment and decision.

There are lots of great resources available online for parents to help educate and equip their children to stay safe when using social media. Having open and honest chats with your teen to help them become more media literate and creating healthy boundaries for social media use in your home will support your teen in being safe online so that they can reap the benefits of social media instead.

This content is for information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek advice from your GP or an appropriate medical professional if you have concerns about your health, or before commencing a new healthcare regime. If you believe that you are experiencing a medical emergency call 999 / 112 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

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